A Lesson that Life Keeps Handing Me.

It's funny how life hands you the same lessons over and over again sometimes.  How it seems to try to teach you the same things, seemingly until you get them.  One lesson, that I seem to have to be retaught every so often is on people, friendships and relationships. 

My entire life, I have had people tell me that relationships come and go but that friendships last a lifetime.  Although, I have had my share of relationships, most of which were in high school, I find this to be somewhat on the contrary.  I have had many friendships come and go in my life but what it really comes down to is the question of priorities.  I have lived my life being mostly a "girls girl" and abiding by the "girl code."  The question that has recently come into my mind is this:  When does it become okay for your relationship to be the priority in your life?  Because, lets face it, in marriage and in family, that relationship takes precident over friendships.  It isn't to say that friendships aren't important, they most certainly are, and I believe that you need friendships in your life to be healthy.  But when is it okay for relationships to be important in your life?

As I said, I have dated my share of guys, some of them were completely and totally wrong for me, and others of them were closer to being okay.  All of their break ups left me with scars.  But none of those scars compare to the scars I have from the friendships I have lost in my life.  For some reason it seems as though girls like to hurt each other for fun.  As long as I can remember I have had issues with girl friends, so much that maybe I dated guys as a result of wanting something other than the constant drama that seems to surround a lot of the girls I know. 

My girl problems go back to elementary school, and ironically enough, with the same person who I have current friendship problems with.  I lost a friend because she didn't like the other friend I was hanging out with at the time.  Then in middle school I lost my best friend because my other group of friends hated her and her group of friends hated me.  And high school brought a whole new array of drama that involved my having to cut friendships because I didnt want to be around a whole slew of drug addicts.  It was as if I had to approve of that life style or split.  I chose to split.  But let me tell you, all of these "break ups" were waaaaay more traumatic than any relationship break up I have experienced.  What is it about girls anyway?!

So this brings me to the lesson I have (hopefully) learned... Yet again...

There are people in my life who mean the most to me.  I love my family, as dysfunctional as they are, and then there are those friends who have become family, who of course are those who are drama free and the kind that you couldn't get rid of even if you wanted to. Those are the friendships that are worth the most, and those are the ones who support you in your relationships, understand them, keep it real with you and are always there to pick you up when you are down.  There are several important people in my life who have been there over the years, but there are two that have been on my mind a lot lately and I want them to know just how much their support has meant to me. 

This is my buffalo, Danni.  She has watched me through the years, and supported me in my life and my choices, while at the same time being honest and real with me.  I cannot tell you how many times she has picked up the pieces of me when they fell all over the place.  I value her opinion and her friendship more than I can say.  She basically defines what the word loyalty means.  She has always had my back and kept me in line and I love how she can always make me smile. 

This is my favorite, my boyfriend and my best friend.  He is amazing.  I cannot even tell you how much he has been there for me in the past several months.  When my whole world felt like it was crashing down, he somehow provided me with some stability.  He is supportive and loving and doesn't make me feel crazy, except for that I am crazy about him.  He just gets me, and is everything that I could imagine wanting in a boyfriend.  He is the best to share my crazy adventures and my life with.  I cannot tell you how excited I am to see where the next 6 months find us. <3

:) This makes me smile.  When your best friend and your boyfriend get along this well... I think thats a great sign. So here is the moral of my lesson here:  Relationships might come and go, friendships might come and go, but when you find something, or someones special, hang on to those people and let the rest float by you.  Life is too short to hang onto everything that keeps you down.  Its the relationships that push you to achieve your dreams, to fight for your goals, support you and love you through the ups and the downs that are worth keeping.  And I definitely think I have two worth keeping (probably more than that but at least these two are ;)).

The Overly Anticipated FIRST BLOG ENTRY... Dun Dun Dun!

I have to say from the start that I am not entirely sure how I feel about this whole blogging thing... I used to be more of a journal writer, not the "Dear Diary" type, but more to get out the thoughts and ideas that would flood my mind. I have decided to pick this up because I need an outlet.  I used to write a lot, some poetry, prose, stories, etc. It always provided a really nice outlet for whatever I was experiencing.  In the past couple of years I have found myself with less and less time to write and to express the thoughts that keep me awake at night.

Lately, life has been somewhat stressful, filled with mystery, which is both exciting and scary at the same time.  I am in the process of applying for Graduate Schools, many across the country.  In so many ways I am ready and excited to experience the next phase of my life and discovering what that really means to me.  However, I am also scared of what the future brings in many ways, but isn't that the spice of life?  Not knowing what is going to happen next? So this is my space to write, to process, to think about what life is bringing my way.  The exciting, the fun, the sad and the horrifying (which there has been a moderate amount of horrifying lately... lol).  :)  But life is always entertaining, and full of surprises, I will say that.